


Darling, Don't Explain

by goodoldfashioned



Category: RedLetterMedia RPF
Genre: Awkward Tension, Codependency, Dirty Talk, Dysfunctional Relationships, Hotel Sex, Light Bondage, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Power Dynamics, Road Trips, Under-negotiated Kink, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 21:47:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20571422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodoldfashioned/pseuds/goodoldfashioned
Summary: Mike drives Jay home after the busted-up Vegas wedding. They figure some things out along the way.





	Darling, Don't Explain

**Author's Note:**

> I'm working on a long, plotty surreal comedy story for these two and wanted to write something "short" to post in the meantime. I ended up getting quite invested in this! Thanks to all who have encouraged me, it means a lot <3
> 
> As will be immediately obvious since this is about the wedding plotline I continue to be obsessed with, this is about the Half in the Baaaaag characters and their world only.
> 
> \--

Marching away from the altar with Jay felt natural, good, even triumphant. Plinkett was slumped somewhere at a blackjack table and had probably forgotten why he was in Vegas already. Xandu was back in whatever astral plane he hung out in. Jay was standing beside Mike, where he belonged, looking dejected and a little confused as they rode an elevator down from the Chapel of Love floor of the Circus Circus hotel that Plinkett had chosen as the site of their nuptials. Not until they hit the lobby and the doors of the elevator dinged open did Mike consider the fact that he and Jay had spent the whole ride down together in awkward silence.

“So now what?” Jay asked, turning to Mike. They could hear the cacophony of noise from the nearby casino floor, and some obnoxious circus-themed music that was being pumped in from overhead speakers. The whole scene was kind of panic-inducing in a sudden, gut-twisting way, and Mike tugged at his collar while Jay stared at him expectantly, maybe a little angrily, and waited to hear what the plan was.

“Well,” Mike said, only beginning to consider a plan himself. A moment ago nothing but stopping that wedding had mattered. “I booked a one-way ticket here, ‘cause that was all I could afford, and lemme tell you, even that was pretty fuckin’ steep at the last minute, and since neither of us ended up with Plinkett’s money, uhh. I’m now broke.”

“Of course you are. Goddammit, Mike. How are we going to get home?”

“You could turn tricks in a--”

“I’m not turning tricks in a fucking Vegas alleyway! This was going to be the happiest day of my life, you asshole. And you fucked everything up, so you’re getting me out of this.” 

“Technically, Mr. Plinkett fucked everything up by having a jealous lover.”

“Mike!”

“Okay, I know! Fine! I’ll get us home somehow, Jay. Don’t worry your pretty little head over it.”

Jay wrinkled his nose at this comment. Mike wasn’t too worried himself, though he had no idea what he was going to do to get them from Vegas to Milwaukee. Everything was back to normal already, as far as he was concerned, crisis averted. He hadn’t realized until he was sweating bullets on that last minute flight to Vegas how much he’d been stressing about this whole scheme from the start. It wasn’t the first time his best idea ever actually turned out to be his worst, and it likely wouldn’t be the last.

“Oh holy shit,” Mike said, pointing to the casino when the answer suddenly seemed obvious. “Jay, there’s our ticket home. It’s staring us right in the face!”

“What are you pointing at? The slot machines?”

“Slots fucking suck, but there’s other, better gambling in there! I’ve got about five bucks left before I’m dead broke. I’ll transform it into five hundred, maybe even five thousand. How’d you like to fly home in first class?”

“You’re delusional,” Jay said. “But I guess we have to try.” 

“That’s the spirit!” 

Mike threw his arm around Jay’s shoulders. Jay promptly shrugged it off, and Mike tried not to let this get him down. Of course Jay would pout for a little while about his ruined wedding and Mike’s attempt to fleece him, but Jay had always been resilient. He would bounce back quick and forget all this ever happened within a few days. Soon they’d be back home and back to the status quo, nothing of value lost.

At the craps table, Mike halted the dealer before he rolled on Mike’s five dollar bet. 

“Hang on, for luck--” Mike grabbed Jay by the shoulders and pushed him toward the dealer. “Blow on them, Jay,” he said, testing his luck in another way. He needed to still be able to order Jay around. He was sweating it a little, thinking about how close he’d come to wrecking everything with one poorly conceived scheme.

Jay sighed and stared down at the dice in the dealer’s palm. He gave Mike a dirty look, but still leaned over and blew on command.

So: good. Everything was fine. 

Except that when the dealer rolled, Mike lost his five dollars.

“Well, great,” Jay said while Mike stood there trying to decide what to do next. Jay shrugged his suit jacket off and loosened his tie. Mike struggled with the urge to blame Jay for this disaster, because he’d clearly blown on the dice with hate in his heart. 

“What are you doing?” Mike asked, watching Jay unfasten a few buttons on his shirt once the tie was loosened. “Jay, no. You don’t have to turn tricks. I’ll think of something else.”

“I’m not turning tricks, I’m just uncomfortable. Here.” Jay shoved his suit jacket into Mike’s hands. “I didn’t want to tell you, but I have twenty three bucks in cash. I’m gonna play Texas Hold ‘Em, and if that doesn’t work maybe you should turn a trick or two.”

Mike tried to follow Jay to the poker table, but Jay forbade it and told him to go sit at a slot machine. Feeling rejected, Mike did as Jay asked, only because perching there meant he’d get free drinks while playing penny slots with the dollar Jay had spared for him. Mike drank from a shitty light beer served in a plastic cup and tried not to think about what would be happening right now if Xandu hadn’t shown up to inadvertently save Mike’s ass. Jay would have married Mr. Plinkett. They’d be-- What? Fucking in a heart-shaped bed in the honeymoon suite? It seemed impossible. Mike had been so sure it was just the cake. He still felt like he was being played somehow, or missing some key ingredient to how all of this went down. 

He leaned over to peek around the slot machine and craned his neck to spy on Jay at the poker table. Jay had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, and he looked distressingly hot with his tie loosened and his hair slightly disheveled, a cowlick hanging over his forehead while he gazed down at his hand of cards, keeping his expression impressively stoic. That weirdo motherfucker could have any guy he wanted! Why had he settled for Plinkett? Mike could have lived with the pheromones explanation, but the more he thought about it, the more it was bugging the shit out of him that apparently Jay, actual un-pheromoned Jay, had wanted to marry that old piece of crap. 

Mike narrowed his eyes at Jay from across the room and resolved to get to the bottom of this. He hugged Jay’s suit jacket a little tighter and gulped down the remainder of his beer before signalling the nearest waiter for another. 

Jay spent about half an hour at the poker table before heading over to Mike, looking pleased with himself. Mike had finished another beer by then and was feeling generous, so he just grinned when Jay smugly waved a handful of money in Mike’s face.

“Three-hundred and twenty dollars,” Jay said. “I figure that’s at least enough for bus tickets, so I quit while I was ahead.” 

“Congratulations on being so smart,” Mike said, sarcastic but also kinda earnest. “Fuck the bus, though. That’s enough for a rental car. Road trip!”

Jay rolled his eyes but didn’t disagree that a bus ride from Vegas to Milwaukee would be a special kind of hell. They went to the Hertz desk in the lobby and paid to rent a compact car for two days. Even factoring in the extra fee for dropping the car off in Milwaukee, they would have enough leftover for one night in a crappy motel along the way. 

“I’ll take the first leg,” Mike said while they waited for the attendant to bring their car around to the hotel’s front driveway. Jay was standing beside him, yawning. “You look like you could use a nap.”

“Fuck off,” Jay muttered. “Of course you’re driving. I should make you drive the whole way.” 

“Doing this in Vegas was your idea!”

“Actually it was Plinkett’s, and you forced our hand by trying to screw us over.” 

Mike recoiled at this usage of ‘us.’ 

“Why the fuck did you want to marry him?” he blurted, unable to hold it in. 

Jay glared at him. The attendant pulled up with the car before Mike could either badger him further or retract that question for a later time. They had a twenty-eight hour drive ahead of them. Mike would get it out of Jay eventually. 

Behind the wheel of the car and headed away from the Vegas strip, Mike already felt better. He was ready to be out on the open road and to leave this whole shitty scheme in the dust behind them. Jay seemed tired but relieved to be headed home, his head resting back against the passenger seat as he struggled to keep his eyes open. At moments they would drop shut and his head would tip forward, but the motion woke him up again every time. 

“Would you keep your eyes on the damn road?” Jay said when Mike cursed as someone who’d moved into his blind spot almost side-swiped him on I-70, just half an hour or so out of Vegas. 

“I am!” Mike said, heart racing as he blared his horn at the other car.

“You are not, you keep looking at me. What, Mike? What do you want to hear?” 

“I think you know,” Mike said, not sure he was ready to get into this. Maybe Jay should get some rest first. But Mike had already held it in for too long. “I mean, Jay. What the fuck. There’s no way you fell in love with that sack of shit. Tell me what your angle was. Money? Supernatural powers? I know you were after something other than old man dick.” 

Jay cringed, which Mike took as a good sign. He knew he had to be right about an ulterior motive. Jay was into a lot of weird shit, but not that. He’d always found Plinkett and his environs disgusting.

“It was your fucking mission to make me fall in love with him,” Jay said. “Like your one true passion in life. Well, not a true passion, I guess, because you were just trying to get his money, but. I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I think-- Never mind.”

“No, tell me!” Mike reached over to smack Jay’s knee, his heart racing again. “You think what?” 

“Nnh. I don’t know. I have this problem, and I know you’re to blame but I don’t even know if you did it on purpose. Seems like the kind of thing you’d have screwed up if it was intentional.” 

“Wait-- What now? What kind of thing?”

Jay’s nose twitched. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave Mike a look of suspicion.

“Maybe if I say it out loud it will finally break the spell,” Jay said, muttering.

“Say what? Jay, you’re not making sense. What spell?”

“Yours!” Jay shouted, suddenly furious. “Whatever you did to me that makes me-- ugh! Makes me do whatever you want. Up to and including convincing myself I wanted to marry Plinkett, apparently.”

Mike was stunned into silence, frowning out at the road and trying to work out how he must have misheard that. It wasn’t like he’d never noticed that Jay did everything he asked. Mike had just never considered how literal and fail proof it was before now. Even back at the casino, when Mike asked Jay to blow on those dice. Jay should have told him to fuck off, but he did what Mike asked, like always. 

“Are you trying to accuse me of hypnotizing you?” Mike asked. 

“Would that really be so far-fetched, considering you tried to feed me pheromones to make me want Plinkett’s dick?”

Mike made a face, disliking that phrasing. He’d never actually wanted Jay to have anything to do with Plinkett’s dick. He’d just wanted the marriage to happen-- Although, when he thought about it-- Jay was always willing to do that part. Why the fuck _had_ he thrown in the pheromones? 

“I realize it’s extremely dangerous to bring this to your attention,” Jay said, still sizing Mike up like he was expecting to be newly taken advantage of at any moment. “But hiding it hasn’t done me any good so far, and if there’s one thing I know about you it’s that as soon as you have a good thing going, you find a way to fuck it up, so maybe telling you outright will finally free me.”

“You want to be freed from me?” Mike said, distressed. 

“Wouldn’t you want to be free of someone who tried to marry you off to an old man for his own financial gain?”

Mike had no rebuttal. He pressed his lips together and considered what his next move should be. 

“Jay,” he said, deciding he needed more time to think without Jay giving him angry stares. Also, he wanted to test Jay’s theory. “You’re tired. Take a nap.” 

Jay sighed and leaned over against the passenger side window, bunching his suit coat there like a makeshift pillow. He closed his eyes and tried to get comfortable.

Mike’s heart soared. Holy shit. He’d sort of known this was a thing, but had never fully appreciated it before now. Jay was under some kind of spell, and Mike was the wizard who was responsible, if only by accident. He reached over to pat Jay’s thigh. 

“Good boy,” Mike said, softly, just testing this.

Jay grunted and crossed his arms over his chest. His thigh twitched under Mike’s hand. It didn’t feel like a signal that Mike should let go. Kinda felt like the opposite. Mike tightened his grip a little and looked over to watch Jay’s throat bob when he swallowed, eyes still closed.

Mike had to remove his hand from Jay’s thigh to quell the beginnings of an erection. This was bad somehow, but it was also so very good. He licked his lips and reviewed the events of the past few hours. Hadn’t he asked Jay to go turn tricks in an alleyway? Jay had refused that. But Mike hadn’t ordered him to do it directly the way he’d asked him to take a nap and blow on the dice. He’d just suggested it. 

While Jay napped peacefully, Mike laid some mental ground rules for himself. Of course he couldn’t use this power to do anything cruel to Jay, which actually had never been a rule of his in the past. Maybe Jay had a point about breaking the spell by saying it outright. Now the fun of ordering him around was spoiled a little, because it felt like some kind of responsibility. Still, Mike was giddy. Jay had long been his willing servant, but they had never discussed it. This was almost like some kind of love confession or act of submission. Jay was showing Mike his soft underbelly. Mike was getting hard just thinking about it. 

By the time the sun started to go down, Mike was starving and ready for a break from driving. He spotted a billboard advertising an old-timey motel that was attached to a diner, just over the Utah-Colorado border, near Grand Junction. He settled on that as their destination for the night, though he knew he should really push on toward Denver. Too wound up and antsy to be smart about conserving their motel money, he reached over to give Jay’s shoulder a squeeze. 

“Jay,” Mike said, wondering if beginning his commands with Jay’s name was part of the spell. “Wake up. It’s dinnertime.” 

Jay roused slowly, moaning a little in discomfort when he sat up. He rubbed at his neck, wincing. 

“Let me do it,” Mike said, dropping Jay’s name from his command this time. Jay still leaned into Mike’s touch readily and made a soft, pleased little noise when Mike did the neck-rubbing for him.

“Where are we?” Jay asked, his voice thick and tired. 

“Almost to Grand Junction. You hungry?”

“Mhmm-hmm. Fuck, do we have enough money for food?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Mike said, still rubbing Jay’s neck. “Don’t worry. Then we can get a room for the night and, uhh. I’ll give you a back rub.”

Jay snorted. He was smiling a little when Mike glanced over at him. Mike wasn’t sure why, but suddenly he felt nervous. It was like knowing that Jay would do whatever he asked made him even more desperate to get the little weirdo’s approval. Fuck. Maybe Jay really had broken the spell by speaking of it.

“Whatcha gonna order?” Mike asked when they were seated at a table in the dingy little diner attached to the motel. 

“Hmm,” Jay said. He had the diner’s giant menu open and looked extra tiny sitting behind it as he scanned the selections. “Safest thing looks like the chicken noodle soup. I’ll probably get that and a salad.”

“Oh my god, you weenie. You just got dumped at the altar. Live a little! Get a cheeseburger. With bacon!”

Jay made a face. “Ew, no. It’ll be all greasy. I feel crappy enough as it is.” 

“Jay.” Mike leaned forward and gave Jay his most intense, dominating stare. “Order a bacon cheeseburger. With fries. And eat the whole thing.” 

“It doesn’t work like that,” Jay said, shaking his head.

“Like-- What?”

“You can’t just arbitrarily make demands. You have to really mean it. That’s when I can’t resist.” 

“Okay, what? Now you’re just fucking with me.” Mike supposed he deserved it, but his heart sank as he realized this was probably some prank Jay was playing on him. Of course Mike had been gullible enough to fall for it. He wanted it to be true.

“I’m not fucking with you,” Jay said. “Or! Maybe I did break the spell by talking about it.” 

“First off, Jay, you don’t believe in spells.”

“Maybe I do now, considering I just saw a man get obliterated by a volcano god.”

Mike growled under his breath in response to this. He was very tired and needed another beer. Jay looked quite pleased with himself when the waitress came and took his order for soup and salad. 

“I can’t believe it worked,” Jay said after Mike had placed his own order for steak and eggs with a side of apple pie. “Ask me to do something. Something you really want, not just a dumb food order thing.” 

“No,” Mike said, crushed. He’d had so many years to ask Jay for the thing he wanted most of all, and now he’d blown it. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

Jay laughed like this was a great joke. Mike snarled at him.

“You expect me to believe that as of a few hours ago my control over you was so powerful that I convinced you to _love Mr. Plinkett_,” Mike said, jamming a finger against his palm for emphasis, “But suddenly, after one mention of this to me, you’re cured?”

“Eh, I dunno.” Jay shrugged and gave Mike an obnoxious grin. “I guess I’m just in a good mood. I feel like I dodged a bullet. What the hell was I thinking, wanting to be married to him? I was under your evil command, I’m telling you. That’s all it took.”

“I’m not evil,” Mike said.

“Um, yeah you are? I don’t mean it as an insult. I’m lawful evil, you’re chaotic evil. That’s why we work so well together.” 

“Jay. We do a lot of things well together. Working isn’t one of them.”

“I didn’t mean in the literal sense. C’mon, though, really. Ask me to do something. Something you want real bad. I want to see if I can resist.”

He seemed serious. Mike was recoiling slightly and giving Jay a look of wounded disbelief. Jay seemed unaffected. His eyes were bright with a kind of wicked curiosity. Mike decided to stop being such a wimp and give this a real go. 

“I can’t do it in here,” Mike said, lowering his voice and leaning forward a bit. “We’d be arrested.”

“We-- What?” Jay sat up a little straighter. His ears went slightly pink when Mike just stared at him with intense commanding energy.

Mike smiled. Ah, here it was. He simply had to believe that Jay would be affected by his machinations, and it happened. There could be no doubt in his mind that Jay would obey him. That was the secret. That was what Jay _liked_ about this, maybe. Mike didn’t need no freakin’ spell.

“Never mind, Jay,” Mike said, firmly. “Be patient.” He winked. 

Jay’s soup arrived in a sad little bowl with some cracker packets on the side. Mike kept staring at him with what he hoped was an alluring menace. Jay reached for his spoon and took the tiniest bite of soup possible, keeping his eyes on Mike. 

“Just think,” Mike said, grabbing for his beer as soon as the waitress brought it. “You could be stuck in a honeymoon suite with Plinkett right now. God, the horrors! Though, then again, maybe the old fucker would’ve have just passed out snoring as soon as he climbed into bed. Instead, you’re stuck with me. Which is worse? Guess we’ll find out!”

Jay’s cheeks reddened. His nose twitched. He took a bite of soup and looked frightened when he met Mike’s eyes again. 

Mike knew it was an act. Jay wasn’t scared of anything, least of all Mike’s evil plans. He was turned on, probably hard in his pants under the table. Perfect. 

Steak and eggs was Mike’s favorite meal, especially the super greasy diner version, but he was too excited to eat much. Jay was babbling nervously about some movie he’d seen on Shudder before leaving home. Mike normally liked listening to him go on about this kind of nonsense, mostly so he could make dismissive and judgmental comments in response, thereby getting Jay worked up. Working people up was Mike’s favorite thing in the world, and Jay was his favorite person in the world, so getting him going on a defensive rant was always the best combination, almost euphoric. At the moment, however, Mike couldn’t make himself focus enough to do more than grunt in acknowledgment as Jay went on and on, still red-faced. He was jiggling his leg so hard under the table that Mike could hear his heel slapping the floor even over the rowdy noise of the diner.

“Mhmm, apple pie,” Mike said when his slice arrived, the dinner plates cleared away. While Jay babbled and took tiny bites of soup and salad, Mike had been plotting. He grabbed for the fork on the pie plate and stabbed a huge bite of pie onto it. “Looks good, huh?” he said, holding it up over the table.

“Sure,” Jay said, watching Mike’s face like he knew what was coming. 

“Here, have some,” Mike said, moving the fork toward Jay’s mouth. “Go ahead, try it.”

“I-- I’m kinda full--”

“It’s just one bite, Jay. And, listen.” Mike leaned closer, bringing the fork right up to Jay’s lips as he did. “I don’t want you tasting like soup and salad when I shove my tongue into your mouth, understand? You’re gonna taste like this for me. Sweet. So eat it.”

Jay opened his mouth, eyes widening as his pupils fattened. Mike inserted the fork as gently as he could. Jay closed his lips around it slowly, keeping his stunned, surrendered gaze locked on Mike’s. His face was blazing as Mike dragged the now-empty fork from his mouth.

“Say thank you,” Mike snapped while Jay was still chewing.

“Thank you,” Jay said, his words muffled by pie. 

“Do you want more?”

Jay looked at Mike like: do I?

It was enough to make Mike’s dick throb. He forked up some more pie and fed it to Jay, not caring that they were probably being stared at by one or two hicks. Mike felt like he could take on an army of hicks just then, like he could do anything.

“There you go,” Mike said, watching Jay chew. “Good.” He withheld the ‘boy’ portion of this praise, and felt like Jay had heard it anyway. 

Jay swallowed his second bite of pie and for a moment looked like he didn’t know where he was. He blinked a few times and watched in what looked like contented silence as Mike ate the rest of the pie himself. The beet red on Jay’s cheeks drained down to bright pink. Mike liked the idea of letting him calm down a little and anticipate Mike’s next command. The timing of this thing was crucial, he’d realized.

“You know, it’s funny,” Mike said, feeling the way he always did when he tasted even a little hint of power: like he should try to take it as far as he possibly could. “Xandu could have come down and made all his threats at any time during your engagement, but he waited until I was there telling you that the wedding couldn’t go forward. It’s like I inspired him or something.”

Jay snorted and shook his head. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked. 

“Hmm, I don’t know. It’s like we both showed up to claim what was rightfully ours at the last possible moment. Kinda poetic, really.”

Jay rolled his eyes, but he was bouncing his foot under the table again. Mike had scented Jay’s desperation to be taken to a motel room and fucked as soon as Mike had even vaguely implied that this was the kind of command-responsiveness he wanted to test out. He had fucked Jay before, many years ago, then four years ago, then last year. They were always drinking when it happened and they both pretended not to remember, but Jay would give Mike blushy little looks like he couldn’t think about anything else for at least a few days afterward. All three times, Mike had tried to work up the nerve to do something in the aftermath, but he could never put his finger on what that thing should be. Ask Jay to ride his dick again? Ask him on a fucking date? Just lean over and lick his face during their shift? Mike worried every time that he hadn’t been a very good lay, because he was sloppy and even kinda sappy when drunk enough to put the moves on Jay, and he always left the wrong impression. He didn’t want to fuck Jay like that again, all giggly and loose-lipped, saying goofy shit about Jay’s hair while pawing at it clumsily. He needed to take a whole new approach: sober(ish), decisive, and totally in control. 

Mike paid the bill for their meal and tried not to worry about the fact that they had eighteen more hours of driving ahead of them and potentially not enough money left for gas to get them that far, let alone another stay in a motel room. He told himself that nothing mattered except the fact that Jay was following him to the motel’s front desk and letting him do all the talking, waiting to see what would happen behind the closed door of their fifty-nine dollar a night room. 

“One bed is fine,” Mike said to the clerk. He could practically feel Jay vibrate with approval beside him. Mike wasn’t sure why he hadn’t tried this before. Possibly it was just because Jay had never pointed out the fact that he was aware of his own obedience. Mike had long assumed it was something he was in denial about at best.

Their room was on the first floor, toward the back of the building and facing a scrubby stretch of desert, dark mountains looming in the distance. Night had fallen while they ate, and the stars overhead were only slightly muted by the motel’s light pollution. Mike bolted their room’s door behind them and turned to face Jay, who was watching him with an uncertain expression, standing near the end of the bed. 

“Didn’t you pack a bag or anything?” Mike asked. “For your elopement?” He had only noticed now that Jay had nothing with him, because his mind had turned to lube. 

“All my stuff was in Plinkett’s bag,” Jay said. “Damn, I didn’t even think about that when I left Vegas. He has my good razor and everything.” 

“Gross,” Mike said, regretting that he’d allowed Plinkett to come up again. He walked closer to Jay and wet his lips with a quick dart of his tongue, far hungrier for this than he had been for steak. “So?” he said when he was just a few inches away from Jay, towering over him and peering down into his face. “Are you sad, Jay? That you’re not in the arms of that nasty old codger right now?”

“No,” Jay said. His voice was soft, maybe a little embarrassed.

“You were really only doing all that because I wanted you to?”

“Mhm, yeah, and. Maybe to piss you off a little, also. I thought I could call your bluff, once I realized what your scheme was.”

“You like catching me out like that, huh? And pissing me off?” 

Mike grabbed Jay’s chin and tilted his face up a bit more when he hesitated to answer. 

“Sometimes,” Jay said, mumbling. He ducked his gaze away and swallowed when he met Mike’s eyes again. 

“I think you like doing whatever I ask a lot more.”

“We already established that.”

“Did we. I don’t know, Jay. I think we need to establish it fully. Take off your tie.”

Mike tried not to panic while Jay did as he asked. He kept thinking about the fact that they didn’t have lube in here and that if he went to go buy some the momentum would be ruined. It seemed inevitable that something would wreck this, now that they were alone together and they could do whatever they wanted. The limitations of the diner had made Mike’s pie-feeding seduction feel so inspired and well-considered, and when they’d been drunk during previous fucks everything he’d done to Jay seemed genius because of the booze. Now he felt lost in a way that made him wish he’d had a second beer with dinner. Would a motel bathroom even have lotion? Conditioner? They’d used both of those things as lube in the past, and Jay hadn’t complained, but Mike understood from some research he did afterward that neither were ideal. 

“I took the tie off,” Jay said, lifting it toward Mike’s face when Mike just stood there fretting silently about lube options. “Now what?”

“Give it to me,” Mike said, snatching the tie from Jay’s hand. He draped it over his shoulder for later use and debated whether it was hotter to slowly unbutton Jay’s shirt himself or to instruct Jay to strip for him.

God, he was overthinking this already! He grabbed both sides of Jay’s shirt and ripped it open with a grunt, sending the buttons flying.

“Mike, you asshole!” Jay said, but he looked more impressed than annoyed. “That was my nicest shirt!” 

“No,” Mike said, because he could think of at least three screen-printed tees that looked way better on Jay. He flung the wrecked shirt to the floor and grabbed the hem of Jay’s short-sleeved undershirt. 

Jay whined under his breath and seemed to brace himself for Mike to tear this off, too. Mike was still wearing his Lightning Fast shirt, and he had an undershirt on beneath it. He moaned a little for the thought of destroying all of Jay’s clothes and dressing him in the Lightning Fast shirt in the morning, bringing him home wearing only that. 

Mike couldn’t make himself tear Jay’s undershirt apart. Maybe it was over the cruel line, leaving Jay with nothing to wear except Mike’s clothes. He leaned down to tease a kiss and pushed his hands up under the shirt to feel his way over Jay’s stomach and sides, then up to his pecs. Jay was the perfect amount of soft and firm. Mike remembered this from last year, despite how drunk they’d been. Four years previous, Jay had been all sharp edges, too trim for Mike’s tastes, and that first time they fucked was the blurriest of all in Mike’s recollection, but he did remember Jay being at his softest back then, refusing to take off his shirt and squirming when Mike groped him. 

Now he was allowing Mike to touch him all over, breathing faster and shivering under his hands.

“Hey, Jay,” Mike said, just short of brushing his lips against Jay’s. 

“Yeah?”

“Remember when I fucked you?”

Jay snorted, then laughed properly. His eyes pinched shut and his face went red, his chest bouncing under Mike’s hands while he cracked up. Mike was grinning, almost kissing him, and already in danger of making this just like all those times before, even while they were both sober. He needed to pull back, to stop trying to be funny and act like he knew what he was doing. Jay was the only guy he’d ever been with. He regretted not having practiced on others. 

“Yes, Mike,” Jay said, when he’d stopped laughing. “I remember.” 

“Oh, me too. Anyway, I’m taking this off now.”

Mike pulled the undershirt off fast and swooned in to kiss Jay as soon as it was clear of his lips, trying to do a kind of kiss stunt where he was still sliding the shirt over Jay’s arms as he shoved his tongue into Jay’s mouth. Jay laughed a little but also moaned and put his arms around Mike’s neck as soon as his hands were free of the shirt. He tasted like cinnamon and apples with a hint of chicken noodle. Mike crushed him against his chest and forgot about lube entirely, because Jay was kissing him back like he wanted this more than anything, most of all. 

“Jesus,” Jay said when Mike moved down to nip at his neck, remembering how good he tasted there, too. “Do you do this to everybody you fuck around with?”

“Do what?” 

“I can barely breathe, Mike, you’re, like, squeezing me--” 

“Jay, shut up.”

Jay did. He pressed his lips together and looked up at Mike, still held tight in his arms and searching Mike’s face for his next command. 

Mike had to keep in mind what Jay liked. It was twofold, he realized, not as simple as originally stated: he liked being a little shit and criticizing Mike’s every move, and then being put in his place for it, going down onto his knees because he knew he deserved it. 

“Put your hands behind your back,” Mike said, grabbing for the tie. 

Jay did a sort of gulp thing, a barely audible inhale-swallow, and crossed his arms behind his back, pressing his chest out a bit in the process. His nipples were hard. It was cold in the room, air conditioning pumping from a noisy unit on the wall. The curtains over the room’s single window had already been shut when they walked in, because of course housekeeping knew that nobody came here for the view. 

Mike put his arms around Jay and used the tie to bind his hands behind his back while they were still facing each other, so he could watch Jay’s shifting micro-expressions while he did it. Even before they’d fucked, before Mike had anything resembling a conscious sense of being attracted to him, he’d always been prone to staring at Jay. It was a kind of fascination that went beyond attraction. On some primal, paranoid level, he didn’t like letting Jay out of his sight. Being this close to him had always felt like a good dream that was in danger of ending if Mike didn’t pay attention. 

“This is so cliche,” Jay said when his hands were tied. He smirked at Mike’s answering glare. 

“I guess you’ve known some real creative sadists in your sexual history,” Mike said, pronouncing this like it was a joke or an insult and not something he’d sincerely worried about over the years. 

Jay shrugged. 

“Few people are as creative as me,” he said, and then, “You’re close,” before Mike could suggest the same. 

“Ha. Well.” Mike felt the pressure of being good at this while sober welling up again. “You’d better give me your safe word now, if you want me to really be creative.”

Jay rolled his eyes. “No,” he said.

“That’s your safe word?”

“I’ll just tell you to stop if I want to. Don’t worry about it.” 

“What about the spell.”

“Use it on me, that’s what.”

Mike felt his eyes widen, then regretted showing a tell. He thought of Jay at the poker table back in Vegas, how he’d won that handful of twenties with a dead-eyed expression on his face. Mike had to stop being impressed with Jay long enough to give him what he needed. Being probably in love with him made this difficult, but Mike steeled himself, flattened his eyes into commanding certainty, and took Jay by the shoulders. 

“Okay,” Mike said. “Lean over the bed.” 

Jay moved out of Mike’s arms and did as he asked, awkwardly flopping onto the bed without being able to use his arms to brace himself. His knees were on the floor, and he turned back to look at Mike once he was in position, sort of begging with his eyes. It wasn’t mercy he was begging for, Mike knew. 

“Is this why you wanted to be with Plinkett?” Mike asked, kicking Jay’s ankles apart so he’d spread his knees a little wider. “Because you knew he’d treat you like a dirty slut?”

“I told you why I wanted to be with him.”

“Oh, because I said so?” 

“Yes. And to make you miserable.” 

“Me? What?”

“I wanted to watch you squirm while I acted all happy with someone else.” 

Though he was more touched by this than angry, Mike dropped to his knees behind Jay with a grunt and smacked him hard on his ass, which Jay had pressed out in Mike’s direction as if he’d wanted this. Jay made a noise like he had wanted that very much indeed, burying his face against the mattress too late to conceal it. 

“That makes you a tease, Jay,” Mike said, and he spanked him again. Jay moaned against the tacky motel bedspread and arched his back like he wanted more. “And a liar.” 

_Smack_: again, harder.

The quality of Jay’s moan after that third slap to his ass was different, better. Mike was fully hard in his jeans already. 

“I’m a liar?” Jay was a little short of breath when he turned his face, and bright red across his cheeks. “Ha-- hah, yeah. That means a lot, coming from you.”

Mike spanked him again. He felt like he could do it all night long, especially if Jay kept goading him. 

“Been wanting that, huh?” Mike said when Jay whined against the bedspread, the almost-protesting sound of it tapering off into a sigh before he inched his knees apart a little wider and arched his back again.

“Fuck you,” Jay said, his voice pinched. “You think, mph. You think you know everything.”

Mike decided to show him who thought he knew everything and actually didn’t. He reached around for the button on Jay’s slacks, and hoped he wasn’t imagining things when he thought he felt Jay gasp a little at the feeling of Mike’s hands so close to his dick, Jay’s back jumping slightly against Mike’s chest as Mike leaned onto him in the process of tearing his pants open. Mike leaned closer as he yanked Jay’s zipper down, far enough to bite at the back of Jay’s neck, definitely getting a gasp out of him that time. 

“Fuck,” Mike muttered, unintentionally, when he pulled Jay’s pants and underwear down and saw that his ass cheeks were already pinked-up from being spanked through two layers of fabric. They were about to be bright fucking red, Mike decided, tugging Jay toward him so that his back arched more dramatically. Jay had his bound hands clasped together behind his back, and his knuckles were going white as he braced himself for another blow.

“Ah!” Jay said when Mike spanked him again, his hand striking bare skin now. Jay was quiet for the next smack, shoulders trembling and face hidden. Mike gave him a moment, wondering what it would take for Jay to actually ask him to stop. They were extremely competitive with each other when it came to proving who was tougher. He decided to change course, just in case. 

“You’re so fucking hard for this,” Mike said, reaching between Jay’s spread legs to jerk his cock too loosely. Jay bucked his hips and tried to fuck Mike’s hand, turning his cheek on the bedspread. He had his mouth open and his eyes closed, and his lashes fluttered when Mike stroked him again. 

“Yeah,” Jay said brokenly, as if he was confessing that what Mike said was true: yes, that was his very hard dick in Mike’s hand. 

“Next time I’ll put you over my lap,” Mike said, giving Jay a teasing slap on the ass, just enough to make him push back and seem to ask for more before he shoved forward to rut against Mike’s palm again. 

“Next time,” Jay said, and he sniffed as if to doubt Mike’s promise. 

“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve been remiss in my Jay-tending duties, haven’t I? I can hear the fucking complaint in your voice. The greedy slut in you is slipping out now. Why don’t you tell me what you want, Jay? Go ahead.” 

He let go of Jay’s dick, leaned back and held him by the hips. Jay huffed and squirmed a little, his wrists twisting within the tight knot of the tie.

“You talk too much,” Jay said. He flexed his back and turned to look over his shoulder, his eyes gleaming with a sort of dare when they locked on Mike’s. “Even when we do this drunk. You don’t shut up, the whole time.” 

“You prefer the silent type?” 

Mike had imagined it before: Jay going to some sex dungeon and being fucked by a stranger in a creepy mask with no eye or mouth holes. He didn’t like the thought. 

Jay shrugged bashfully, which felt like an admittance the he didn’t actually mind Mike talking that much. Mike mashed his lips shut anyway, to punish Jay for remarking on Mike’s need to narrate sex and for making him feel a little bad about it. He took Jay’s shoes off in silence, then his socks. Jay was breathing hard and starting to sweat across the small of his back. He lifted his knees obediently as Mike stripped his pants and underwear off fully, leaving him totally exposed, bent over for Mike and tied up, waiting. Maybe Mike wouldn’t speak until Jay was begging him to talk again. Was that even possible? He could imagine Jay begging for a lot of things before that.

Both for the purpose of making Jay more desperate and in an attempt to fully appreciate this moment, Mike sat back and admired the sight before him: Jay tied up and helpless, submitting, naked and waiting for Mike to do whatever to him. It made Mike’s throat dry and also his eyes burned a little, what the fuck? Five hours ago he’d been on that miserable, bank-breaking flight from Milwaukee to Vegas, irritating the old lady next to him in basic economy by cursing under his breath and bouncing his heel anxiously against the floor of the plane as if he could make it go faster with sheer impatient dread.

“Mmph?” Jay said, flexing his shoulders and peering back at Mike. He ran his tongue over his lips, probably in an attempt to hold in some begging impulse. “Are you okay? What’s happening?”

“I’m just plotting your fate,” Mike said, annoyed by the question. 

“Do you need a pen and a clipboard? Need to take some notes?”

Mike smacked him hard on the ass for that, pretty sure it was exactly what he’d been asking for.

Jay moaned and flopped down against the bed again. He smirked at Mike when he’d recovered a little, shivers of some intense masochistic pleasure still moving down over his back. 

“It’s gonna hurt when I fuck you,” Mike said, rubbing his hand over Jay’s sore ass cheeks. “Right here. And when you’re sitting in the car, too. Gonna make you feel it all the way home.” 

“Good,” Jay said. “Do it. Quit monologuing.” 

“When are you gonna figure out that you can’t tell me what to do?”

Mike leaned in close, kneeling down between Jay’s spread-apart legs. He wasn’t sure if Jay had ever had this before-- Mike had never done it, but he’d thought about it a lot. He liked the idea of breaking Jay with too-soft touches and uncomfortably intimate tenderness before giving him the hammering he wanted, and he was pretty sure his first method of doing so was genius when he leaned in to spread Jay’s ass cheeks open, because Jay jerked and fucking _squeaked_ for the first hot tickle of Mike’s breath against his hole.

“Oh--” Jay said and before he could continue Mike licked him and took the breath out of his lungs.

Mike had only really liked the idea of doing this to torture Jay, and had underestimated how hard Jay’s needy, nervous, half-swallowed sounds of overwhelmed pleasure would make him. Also the way Jay’s thighs shook in Mike’s hands: Mike groaned for the feeling of it, and sort of laughed while still licking into Jay when he made a pitiful sound as that groan vibrated into him. 

“Like that?” Mike asked when he pulled back, ready to hear Jay beg for more.

“Mike,” Jay said, huffing against the mattress, eyes closed. 

“Yes?”

“Nnh, I-- You, you could fuck me.”

“No shit.”

Mike dove back in with his tongue, nowhere near ready to be done with this part and beginning to formulate other ideas. Jay whined softly and went limp for him, aside from the occasional needy roll of his hips when he tried to rub more of himself against Mike’s mouth. 

“Mike,” Jay said after a while, maybe when Mike’s stubble was staring to chafe the soft insides of his pulled-apart cheeks. “Nngh, yeah, just, hah--”

“Shh,” Mike said, squeezing Jay’s thighs like a warning. “You’re only allowed to ask me to stop. Not for anything else. Got it?”

“Ah, yeah--”

“Want me to stop, then?”

Jay moaned against the mattress, twitched his hips back and then went still again.

“No,” he said, biting this out in a way that made Mike feel certain that Jay’s face was burning red against that bedcover. “You can-- Don’t stop, mph. Feels good.”

Mike moaned for that admission and went back to work, ready to do this for the next hour, or however long he could get Jay to keep whispering an agonized stream of _fuck, fuck, fuck_ under his breath like he thought Mike couldn’t hear him losing it for this. Jay’s thighs were already shaking harder in Mike’s hands. 

“How close are you to coming just from this?” Mike asked, half speaking to himself, because god he was hard, leaking like crazy into his boxers.

“Hah,” Jay said, pressing his shoulderblades together. “Put your mouth on my dick and find out.”

“Mhm, no, not yet.” Mike gave him a little slap on the ass, mostly to hear him gasp in surprise. “I gotta step out for a minute, actually,” he said, rising to his feet.

“You-- Wha?”

Jay turned onto his side with a pained grunt, red-faced and breathing hard. His chest was pinked up, too, and his nipples looked raw, like he’d been rubbing them against the bed either on purpose or just in the process of wiggling his ass back against Mike tongue. 

“I won’t be long,” Mike said, forcing a serious expression onto his face as he backed toward the door. “Stay right there, just like that.”

“Mike!” Jay glowered at him and squirmed. He seemed too exhausted or shaky to even roll onto his back. “What the fuck! Don’t leave me like this!”

“Shhh, it’ll just be for a second, I promise. I’ll lock the door behind me, don’t worry.” 

“You fucker.” Jay sighed and flopped back onto his belly, still looking back at Mike with his cheek pressed to the bed, glaring but also relenting. He looked too good to be true with his hands tied behind his back and his face hot, pissed off and needy. “Fine, just. Hurry up.” 

“Uh-huh,” Mike said, already concealing his inner panic at the thought of leaving Jay alone like that. He had to play this cool. It would totally pay off. “Be right back.”

He left the room and made sure the door was locked, also that the key card was still in his pocket. His face was flushed and his dick was hard, and pulling his Lightning Fast shirt down over the bulge only went so far. He didn’t really care if the creepy motel clerk noticed. When they’d checked in he’d noticed a makeshift sundries shelf across from the check-in desk, with toothbrushes, deodorant and other things travelers might need available for purchase. He’d seen condoms there, too, which meant they probably had lube, or something close enough. 

The clerk was watching something on a little TV behind the counter when Mike walked into the front office. They made brief eye contact before Mike whirled toward the sundries shelf, glad that the counter on the check-in desk would conceal his erection when he walked over there. His dick was already wilting a little, and he was wondering if this was a good idea, also telling himself to stop fucking overthinking everything and doubting himself. This was a seedy motel on the side of the highway, which was part of what made leaving Jay tied up and vulnerable like that so hot, but also why it was legitimately kind of freaking him out.

When he brought all the things he wanted to buy to the counter his hands were shaky, and he cursed under his breath when he fumbled his wallet and dropped it. Jay had trusted him with all the cash he’d won at the poker table-- Why? After everything? After Mike tried to rob him, sorta? Mike was on the verge of something like panicked tears or a full on tantrum when the clerk took forever to count out his change. 

Mike refused a bag and raced back to their room with all the stuff he’d bought bundled loosely in his hands. The cost of it and the remainder of their money was the farthest thing from his mind; nothing mattered but getting back to Jay and doing this right for once. He dropped half of what he’d purchased in the process of unlocking the door, and after he’d gathered it up again he tried to make his reentry into the room as smooth as possible, kicking the door shut behind him once he was safely inside. 

Jay was still on the bed, still in the same position that Mike had instructed him to maintain. He looked a little frightened, maybe for real this time, and also relieved to see Mike.

“What’ve you got there?” Jay asked. His voice was muted, almost sweet. 

“Never mind,” Mike said, breezing through the room and dumping all the supplies he’d bought onto the bathroom counter. “You’ll find out soon!”

“Mike,” Jay whined. 

“I’m coming, hold your horses.”

In the tiny, airless bathroom, Mike scrambled to get the toothbrush he’d purchased out of its packaging. He’d bought two toothbrushes, in case Jay wanted to brush his teeth later. Sharing a toothbrush seemed like the kind of thing Jay would never do, not even with a husband. Mike lingered in the bathroom as if he wasn’t in a hurry and brushed his teeth, because he wanted to kiss Jay again while they fucked, if not before. Along with the toothbrushes and a little travel-sized tube of toothpaste, he’d bought some lube, condoms just in case Jay wanted them, and a razor and mini canister of shaving cream. Also some cookies, for later.

Mike walked out into the room while still brushing his teeth, so that Jay could see he was doing so. Jay looked pathetic and desperate, and like he was in no state to demand any particular level of hygiene from Mike, who maybe should have just gone in for a kiss to see what Jay’s reaction would have been. He did like making Jay wait there, squirming, and was glad to have lube on hand now, also the razor. He had plans. 

“What the fuck?” Jay said, struggling to lift his head high enough to meet Mike’s eyes. “You’re brushing your fucking teeth?”

“My mouth was on your ass.”

“Yeah, well. My ass is clean!” 

Mike snorted and had to stop himself from laughing, not wanting to spoil the developing mood. 

“Don’t question my methods, Jay,” Mike said. “I’m in charge here. And stop that squirming. Your nipples must hurt.”

“My fucking shoulders hurt, and my back. Mike, please, mph. Untie me, okay?”

Mike turned back for the bathroom, concealing the fact that his actual instinct was to race over and obey Jay’s demand. Jay wouldn’t want that, not really, so Mike took his time rinsing off the toothbrush before returning. 

“Okay, okay,” Mike said when he walked back into the room, unable to slow his steps as he hurried back to Jay, the twitching of Jay’s sore shoulders tugging at Mike’s pathetically easy-to-reach heartstrings. “Hold still,” he said, kneeling behind Jay to unknot the tie.

“Oh, fuck,” Jay said, moaning this out with relief when his arms were free. He pushed them up over his head on the bed and crawled onto it more fully before rolling onto his back with a groan. “Jesus, thank you. I’m getting too old for this shit.” 

Mike tried not to imagine all the wild things Jay must have done when he was younger and had more stamina or flexibility or whatever, when he first came out or maybe even before that. About five years back he’d randomly said to Mike, while they were watching some movie with a gay subplot: You know I’m gay, right?

Mike had wanted to say, um, yes? I fucked you that time, and you came really hard on my dick, so? I figured?

Instead he’d been nice, because Jay had looked nervous about it and was avoiding Mike’s eyes. Mike had reached over to pat Jay’s knee. He’d said, I know, you’re good. As if Jay was asking his permission. It was a clumsy response, but Jay had seemed fine with it. Mike had spent the next hour or so debating whether it would be a good time to ask Jay if wanted to fuck again, but ultimately he decided that would be rude and/or chickened out.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jay asked when Mike was kneeling up over him on the bed, still fully dressed while Jay lay spread out and naked underneath him, still very hard. 

“Like what?” Mike asked. 

“You can tie them again,” Jay said, crossing his wrists over his head with an angry little look, as if Mike had accused him of being a wimp. “Just like this, okay, so my back lies flat.” 

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a bossy little bitch?” Mike asked, pinching one of Jay’s nipples until he winced and flushed harder across his cheeks.

“You,” Jay said, his pupils expanding when Mike lowered onto him, just short of dumping his full weight onto Jay. “You’ve told me that.” 

“Aw, I can’t be the only one who’s noticed.” 

Mike pinched Jay’s other nipple and swooned in to kiss him on the mouth when he threw his head back in some combination of pleasure and pain that also caused him to wrap his short legs around Mike’s back. Jay tightened his thighs against Mike’s sides while they kissed, hooked his ankles behind Mike’s back and pulled him closer. 

“My hands, seriously,” Jay said when Mike broke their kiss. Jay looked annoyed that he had to tell Mike what to do. His wrists were still crossed over his head. 

“You like being tied up?” Mike said, trying to regain the upper hand by teasing him for it.

“What do you think? Do it, please.”

Mike grabbed Jay under his arms and dragged him over so that he was positioned in the middle of the bed. Jay let Mike manhandle him into position, then lifted his hands and crossed them against the cracked wooden headboard. The headboard was plain wood, no slats to tie him to, but there was a light fixture over the bed that would work, mounted to the wall and featuring a short brass post that was just big enough. Mike hoisted Jay up with a grunt and lifted his arms.

“Oh, jesus,” Jay said, watching. Mike had his thumb jammed over Jay’s wrist while he worked, could feel his pulse pumping hard. “That’s going to rip out of the wall if I put any weight on it.”

“Good,” Mike said, tightening the knot that bound Jay’s hands to the post. “Let’s wreck the place and skip out on the bill.”

“Pretty sure we paid in advance.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jay,” Mike said, grabbing Jay’s chin once his hands were secured, his back flush with the headboard. Jay’s eyes widened a little when he saw that Mike was authentically pissed off. Jay had been pushing and pushing and Mike knew he wanted this, for Mike to lose his patience for real and stop taking orders. “What if I asked you to embark on a life of crime with me?” Mike asked, bringing his face close to Jay’s and tightening his grip, pressing his thumb up under Jay's jaw. “You’d fucking do it, you’d be my little criminal sidekick. I’d make you do all the dirty work. You’d crawl through barbed wire for me, wouldn’t you?” 

“I dunno,” Jay said. His breath was coming faster, and he looked transfixed by something on Mike’s face or in his eyes, like he was watching a really good horror movie. “Maybe.”

“Maybe my ass. Stay here, I got you a present.”

Mike left the bed, infused with new confidence because of that look of impressed surrender on Jay’s face, and the way his cock had stayed so hard while Mike jerked him around on the bed. 

No more hesitation, Mike thought, grabbing the razor and shaving cream. And maybe after he’d fucked Jay stupid they really would abandon their lives and hit the road, go on a crime spree and never return to Milwaukee.

“Um,” Jay said when he saw what Mike had brought back from the bathroom. “What are you doing?”

“You said you left your razor in Vegas,” Mike said, lifting the shitty plastic one in his hand. “I got you a new one.”

“Mike--” 

“Quiet. You’re gonna be good for me, or else.”

Mike resisted the urge to wink. Jay was chewing his bottom lip, flushed down to his chest now, also leaking a steady stream of pre-come onto his belly. Mike thought of putting a pillow behind Jay’s back. His shoulders were probably aching again.

Resolving to rub them later, after they’d both come, Mike climbed onto the bed with the razor and shaving cream. He’d also brought a damp towel from the bathroom. 

Jay spread his legs so Mike could kneel between them. It was more than enough of a signal that Mike was on the right track, despite the nervous look on Jay’s face. 

“You’re so hard,” Mike said, popping the top off the shaving cream. “Need to come?”

“I-- I don’t know,” Jay said, as if Mike had to tell him whether or not he did. “What are you, um. Doing?”

“Just grooming you a little, relax.” Mike pumped some shaving cream into his palm and brought it down between Jay’s pecs, smearing it over the paltry amount of chest hair he had. “I got your mouth tasting how I wanted it to, yeah? Now I’m gonna get you smooth for me.”

Jay swallowed audibly and flexed his shoulders, testing the strength of the tie that had him bound to the light fixture overhead. He watched as Mike brought the razor down and exhaled when Mike dragged it gently across his skin, shaving a smooth strip through the middle of the patch of shaving cream.

“This is your thing?” Jay said, mumbling. 

“Did I tell you to stop questioning me?”

Jay pressed his lips together and exhaled through his nose, watching Mike take more of his chest hair away. He was bright red from his ears to his collarbones, his chest heaving under each pass of the razor.

“I’m sure people have done worse to you,” Mike said, avoiding Jay’s eyes after he’d said so. “And I’m sure you loved it.” 

Jay opened his mouth as if to refute this, his nose wrinkling a little. He clamped his lips shut again when Mike gave him a warning look. 

“There,” Mike said, wiping the shaving cream and stray hairs away with the damp towel. “Perfect.” He leaned down to give Jay a kiss on his newly smooth skin. 

Jay made a soft sound at the back of his throat and swallowed. He looked like he hoped Mike was done. 

“Oh, wait,” Mike said, reaching down to rub his thumb through Jay’s happy trail. “I missed a spot.”

“Mike,” Jay said, softly. 

“Shh-shh, just humor me. It’ll grow back.”

Jay sighed and twitched in his bonds, watching Mike spread shaving cream around his belly button. His cock was still dripping beads of pre-come out at a steady pace, and Mike was still avoiding touching it. His own dick felt uncomfortably hard in his jeans, and he had a plan to do something about that soon. 

But first, this: he carefully moved the razor over the flat of Jay’s stomach, close enough to his cock that Jay was panting a little, either turned on or nervous, probably both. 

“Maybe we’ll just tidy you up a little here, too,” Mike said when Jay’s stomach was hairless and smooth. He dragged his shaving cream-laden fingers down to the borders of the dark blond hair that framed Jay’s dick, which was already pretty neatly trimmed. Mike didn’t want to think about why: did Jay shave himself here in preparation for that sham of a wedding?

“Careful,” Jay said, his thighs twitching like he wanted to close his legs when Mike nudged the razor close to the soft skin on the inside of Jay’s left thigh, where just a few stray hairs were growing. 

“I’m careful,” Mike said. “Sorta.” 

He reached down to cup Jay’s balls and raised his eyebrows when he looked up into Jay’s face. Jay was panting, shaking his head a little, his knees pulling in against Mike’s sides. 

“What about here?” Mike asked, squeezing. Jay already felt close to coming, his balls pulled up tight in Mike’s grip. He was trembling from his shoulders down to his belly. “Hmm?”

“Just--” Jay licked over his lips. He seemed to want to tell Mike he’d had enough of the razor but also like he didn’t want his fearless bluff called. “Come, c’mere, I’ll-- I want to kiss you.”

Mike sniffed, kind of hurt by this ploy. He rubbed the last of the hair bits away with the towel and bent down to give the wet head of Jay’s dick a kiss, just enough to make Jay moan and to get the taste of Jay’s pre-come on his lips before surging up to kiss him on the mouth, razor and shaving cream tossed aside. 

Jay’s mouth was soaking wet, and he kissed Mike with a shameless hunger that made Mike wonder if that was really just a ploy to get him to stop using the razor. The way Jay kissed him tasted more like wild gratitude, and the light fixture creaked on the wall when Jay pulled against it like he was trying to get his arms around Mike while they made out. Unable to do that, he wrapped his legs around Mike again, holding him in place.

“Jesus,” Jay said when Mike pulled back to give him a scrutinizing look. “You weirdo.” 

Jay grinned so Mike would know it was a compliment: the highest one, maybe, from him. Mike kissed him again, then decided he’d spent enough time with his erection jammed into his jeans.

“Because you were so good and let me shave you,” Mike said, putting his finger against Jay’s lips. “I’m gonna let you have a treat now.”

Jay pressed his tongue out to give Mike’s fingertip a tiny lick. Mike was well accustomed to reading Jay’s mind in their day to day lives, but he hadn’t had a lot of practice in the area when it came to sex, since their previous three fucks had all been times when Mike was too drunk to read much of value from his own mind, let alone Jay’s. Now he could see clearly what Jay was asking for, and he gave it to him, sliding two fingers into Jay’s mouth.

“That’s it,” Mike said, opening his jeans with his other hand while he fucked his fingers in and out of Jay’s mouth, slow. “That’s the idea.”

Jay moaned and nodded, eyes fluttering shut like he wanted to be face-fucked just as much as Mike wanted to awkwardly straddle him and do the fucking. 

Mike let Jay suck on his fingers for a while, and felt his own mouth falling open slightly as he enjoyed the sight. Jay had a wicked oral fixation that was all bound up with his angst about his teeth and his overbite, and Mike had been in Jay’s ass three times but had somehow never made it into his mouth. He stroked his cock while caressing Jay’s tongue with his fingers, pushing them in a little deeper and grinning when Jay gagged a bit.

“Oh, c’mon,” Mike said, extracting his fingers and letting Jay cough. “That’s already too much for you?”

“No,” Jay said, looking desperate when he shook his head. “Sorry, I’m. I can do it, please.”

“Do what, Jay.”

“Your cock, please, I can--” Jay whined and tugged at his bound wrists again, making the lightbulb in the fixture they were tied around flicker. “Mike,” he said, pressing himself up against Mike in a full body begging gesture and hugging him with his thighs. “Please.”

“I’m only gonna do if you stay tied up like this.”

“Yes, yeah, please, that’s--! What I want, yeah.”

Jay seemed to be losing his edge, getting frantic and sloppy. His eyes were spinny, like he’d sucked a dose of some drug from Mike’s fingers. Mike liked this look on him. He leaned in to kiss Jay’s puffy lips, then stood up to take his pants off, balancing with his legs on either side of Jay, hoping he felt tiny and outmatched down below. 

Mike took his shoes off, then his socks. He shed his pants and boxers and let Jay stare. Their previous fucks had been half-clothed, desperate scrambles, and as far as he knew Jay had never even gotten a proper look at his dick before it was shoved up his ass. Jay was staring now, open-mouthed and breathing hard, twitching needfully while Mike stroked himself with one hand and unbuttoned his work shirt with the other. He’d decided to leave it on for now, but unbuttoning it while Jay waited and writhed below him seemed right. 

“You ready for this?” Mike asked, taunting Jay while he tugged on his cock.

“Yes,” Jay said, almost visibly drooling. His lips were slick. “Mike, c’mere, please--”

“Are you sure? I’m not gonna be gentle with you. Not this time.”

“Good,” Jay said, lifting his gaze from Mike’s dick, meeting his eyes. “I want, mphf. I want people to worry about me when I get home. Like you dragged me back. Covered me in bruises. I want them to wonder what the fuck you did to me.”

Mike dropped down onto Jay and shoved his shoulders back, harder than he’d meant to, hard enough that Jay’s head knocked against the wall behind the bed. Mike held him there and gave him an air-sucking kiss that went on maybe a little too long. Jay was panting when Mike pulled free to give him a psycho killer stare that wasn’t just put on for foreplay purposes. The idea of people back home whispering about the bruises Mike had left on Jay had set something off in the deepest recesses of Mike’s dark, secret soul. He’d always, always loved the idea that people looked at them and saw how inseparable they were, how servile Jay could be, and thought, _that big guy must fuck the everliving hell out of the little one_.  
  
“That’s right,” Mike said, lifting himself up so his cock was level with Jay’s face. He had to stand up a little higher on his knees than was comfortable, but otherwise the angle was perfect, and Jay was already moaning and blissed out just for the feeling of Mike’s cock dragging across his cheek. “Gonna leave you looking like you took my dick so hard.”

Jay nodded and darted his tongue out, greedily lapping at the shaft of Mike’s cock as it brushed past his lips. Mike gave him a little slap on the opposite cheek for that, then pulled his cock back and let it smack forward across the bridge of Jay’s nose. Jay whimpered and mashed his lips shut before tilting his head back to give Mike an apologetic, obedient, sex-drunk look.

“Wait until I tell you to lick it,” Mike said, tapping Jay’s cheek with his hand again, more affectionate than admonishing this time. 

“Mhmm,” Jay said, nodding. “Please?”

“Knock it off. Don’t beg unless I tell you to. Got it?”

“Yes, yeah, okay--”

“I’m gonna take my time, just so you know. I didn’t get you all smooth here for nothing.”

Mike moved down so that his cock was resting between Jay’s freshly shaved pecs, and he smirked at the dumbstruck look on Jay’s face as he watched Mike rub his cock there in leisurely thrusts. Jay licked his lips and swallowed heavily. He pressed his chest open and twitched upward a little, like he had to do something to get more of Mike on him, even if it was just this.

“Fuck yeah,” Mike said, reaching down to tease Jay’s nipples while he rutted against his chest. “Look at you, getting all pink just from this. You’re so sensitive, aren’t you? Poor Jay, did you lose your special shaving cream, too? Is this cheapo kind too rough for you?”

Jay made a bitten-off little noise and winced when Mike pinched his nipples hard. He looked dazed when he opened his eyes again, and desperate. 

“You can beg now,” Mike said, pinching him again. “If you want.”

“Please,” Jay said. He exhaled and rubbed himself up against Mike. “Let me, ah. Can I suck your dick now, please?”

“Yeah. Just go slack. I’m gonna fuck your face.” 

Jay moaned and went limp against the headboard, but not before tugging on the fixture that his hands were bound to, making it creak menacingly overhead. He looked up at it with a nervous glance, then locked eyes with Mike again. When he opened his mouth to offer it for Mike’s dick he looked uncertain, like he wasn’t a master cocksucker.

Possibly he actually wasn’t. Mike wouldn’t know. He traced the head of his cock over Jay’s lips for a while, just teasing him. He was afraid he’d come fast once he was in Jay’s mouth, buried in his throat. He’d been more or less edging himself since he fed Jay that first bite of pie. 

“You can lick off some of the pre-come,” Mike said, trying not to sound as breathless as he felt.

Jay’s eyes fluttered shut as he lapped at the wet head of Mike’s dick. He moved his tongue in slow, careful swipes, as if he was savoring some delicacy. Just the heat of his breath on Mike’s cockhead was incredible, and if Mike wasn’t in savage beast mode he’d be stroking Jay’s hair and blathering about how fucking hot he looked like this, sweetly licking the beading pre-come from Mike’s slit like it was a nutrient he’d been desperately lacking.

“That’s enough,” Mike said instead, sharply, and he when he grabbed for Jay’s hair it was to give it a tug, pulling his head back. “Open for me, now. Wide.”

Jay made a choked off noise and did as Mike asked, showing him the back of his throat, everything on offer. His eyes were bright in a way that Mike wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before, except maybe when Jay was leaning closer to the screen while watching some particularly brutal, well-executed horror movie kill. 

Mike swallowed down a moan at the thought of Jay getting off on the idea that he was about to be impaled. He edged his dick into Jay’s mouth more carefully than he’d planned to, mostly to navigate past his teeth before he really went wild. Jay tugged against the light fixture he was tied to again, his shoulders jerking instinctively as Mike invaded his mouth inch by inch. Mike knew he wouldn’t even get half of himself in there, not even if they tried all night. Jay was small, and while his overbite made him sorta designed for this, he was already struggling with Mike’s width, drooling around him while his eyes went fuzzy with the perverse pleasure of being used this way.

“Good,” Mike said, firmly and without any warmth. He put his hand on Jay’s cheek and sighed when he rubbed his thumb there and felt the shape of himself filling Jay’s mouth, holding him open. Jay’s eyes were watering a little but he looked happy, his lids heavy and lashes fluttering. “You look like you could fall asleep like this,” Mike said, stroking his cheek again. “I guess this is how you soothe a slut, huh? Stick a big fucking dick in his mouth.”

Jay’s shoulders jumped a little, and there was a smile in his eyes. Mike didn’t want to break character but couldn’t help smiling back, just briefly. He was very glad to be sober, because if he wasn’t this would be the moment when he would have started leaking gross truths like _I love you, you’re perfect, I want to be stranded on a desert island where no one else ever comes near you_.

“There you go,” Mike said instead, pulling on Jay’s hair again. “Take it deeper. My good little slut, always, _ahh_. Always ready to do what I tell you to, right?”

Jay made a sound that was some kind of agreement and closed his eyes, swallowing around the head of Mike’s dick when he pressed deeper, into Jay’s throat. Jay coughed a little, but not enough to need Mike to pull free, and, fuck, it felt good. Mike pulled out just a bit and fucked back in slowly, not sure if he wanted Jay to cough some more or just take it like a pro. Whatever he did, Mike wasn’t going to last long. Jay’s mouth was so hot and his face was so-- And his hands, tied up like that, his shoulders shaking like it was really too much but he wanted more anyway-- Mike groaned and fucked in harder, still holding Jay’s hair. 

Jay pinched his eyes shut while Mike fucked into him in short, sharp little thrusts, the tears that had pooled in his eyes overflowing at the corners. Mike made a regretfully sympathetic noise and wiped Jay’s left cheek dry, leaving the other one wet. Jay breathed through his nose and licked clumsily at the underside of Mike’s dick like he was trying to prove he was still okay. Mike liked the feeling. He realized he was pulling too hard on Jay’s hair and knew he was going to come, that he’d gotten too close to his edge and had lost the ability to fight it back.

“Off,” Mike said, pressing on Jay’s forehead so he’d slide back. Jay coughed a few times after Mike’s dick popped out from between his lips, then panted up at him and blinked more tears. He wasn’t actually crying; Mike had just pulled his hair too hard. Now he was jacking his dick in Jay’s face, feeling his orgasm climbing up his spine and bracing himself for the slamming intensity of it. 

Mike wanted to ask if Jay had ever had anyone come on his worshipful, upturned face before, but he couldn’t make his voice work and didn’t really want to know, however hot it would be to taunt him for either being familiar with this or for taking Mike’s load as his first-ever. Mike groaned and fought the urge to throw his head back as he unloaded onto Jay’s cheek, across the bridge of his nose, and mostly across his open, fat-lipped mouth. 

“You, you can--” Mike decided to demonstrate rather than trying to put it into words, and used his fingers to push the come that had landed on Jay’s lips into his mouth, onto his tongue.

Jay moaned like he was grateful for it and licked Mike’s fingers clean every time Mike pushed more into his mouth, until Jay’s face was basically dry. 

“Fuck,” Mike said, his thighs shaking terribly. He dropped down into Jay’s lap and chuckled at the back of his throat, evilly perhaps, when his flank brushed against Jay’s straining dick. Jay hissed at the contact and bucked his hips up for more, certainly without meaning to. “Be still,” Mike muttered, his mouth hovering over Jay’s as he pinned Jay’s shoulders back again. 

“Sorry,” Jay said, his voice all cracked-up and tiny, eyes shining. 

Mike kissed him, deep and wet and for a long time, sucking the taste of his own come off Jay’s tongue as Jay moved it tiredly against Mike’s. Jay was making soft, overwhelmed noises, his eyes still a little wet at the corners. Mike brushed them dry with his thumbs, still kissing him. 

“That was good,” Mike said when he finally pulled back, his spent cock already twitching with interest at the way Jay was trembling beneath him like even waiting for permission to speak hurt a little. “So good, Jay, you’re a good little cocksucker.”

“Mhm,” Jay said, almost nodding in agreement. He nudged his face against Mike’s. It was so cute that Mike didn’t have the heart to slap his cheek for begging without permission, without words.

“Tell me,” Mike said, holding Jay’s face in both hands. “Tell me how good you are. You should be proud.”

“I--” Jay looked lost for moment, then figured it out and exhaled, nodding. “I’m a good cocksucker, I. I’m good at it.”

“That’s right. So good, I’m gonna let you beg. If there’s something you want.”

“Mike, I need to come,” Jay said, sobbing a little and nodding crazily. “Please, _please_, Mike, I need--”

“Shh-shhh, okay, I heard you, I got it. You want me in you when you do? Or do you want to come first and then get fucked when you’re all sensitive and raw?”

“I--”

“I’m not saying you get to pick,” Mike clarified, flicking Jay’s ear and smirking when his shoulders jerked, his wrists straining against the light fixture again. “Just curious about what you’d choose, if it was up to you.”

Jay looked overwhelmed by the question, his mouth working dumbly but no sound coming out. He looked like he couldn’t really think about anything beyond how badly he needed to come. Mike leaned in to kiss him on the lips, unable to stop himself. He’d done it, he’d fucking _done_ it! He’d reduced Jay to a blubbering mess without even needing to bring him off first.

“Aw, but it’s mean of me to try to make you choose, isn’t it?” Mike said, keeping their faces close. “You don’t know what the fuck you want, do you? Need me to show you, right?”

“Right,” Jay said, and his nose bumped Mike’s when he nodded. “Muh, Mike just-- Please, anything.”

“Anything? Holy shit, okay.”

Jay didn’t look worried about the expression on Mike’s face. He just looked like he needed to come, like he was dying of it, and like he couldn’t hold anything else inside himself beyond the pressure in his cock, which was painfully red against his pale, smoothly shaved stomach. Mike sat back and admired him for a moment, sighing wistfully. Jay whimpered and flexed against the bed weakly, like he wasn’t sure involuntarily movements were allowed. 

“Did you like it, those other times?” Mike asked, feeling himself edging toward cruel or maybe just stupid, bringing this up now. “My dick up your ass,” he clarified when Jay just stared at him, looking lost.

“Yes,” Jay said, bashful and half-swallowed. He’d started shaking hard enough that some loose bit in the light fixture he was tied to was rattling softly overhead. “Mike.”

“What.” 

“Please, I loved it, please. I think, ah. About it, you--”

“Oh yeah? Then how come we’ve only done it three times?”

Jay made a pained noise and pinched his eyes shut. He looked angry when he opened them again, but it was gone in a blink, replaced by naked begging. 

“Because,” he said, his voice rough again, “Because I have to wait, until you. Until you decide I deserve it.” 

Something in Mike broke, hearing that, but he kept it concealed as best he could, probably just giving Jay a devestated look of some kind before swallowing down the _oh fuck, oh god_, or whatever other words his wild heartbeat was trying to punch out of him. 

“That’s right,” Mike said, though he wasn’t sure if this was part of the game or not. “You think you deserve my dick now?”

Jay sobbed dryly and opened his legs a little wider on the bed, spreading himself as wide as he could and tugging futilely at the tie around his wrists.

“I don’t know,” Jay said. His chest was jittery, streaked with pink marks where Mike had shaved him and then rutted against him. “I, I’ll-- I can wait, I’ll wait. As long as you want me to. I promise. I’ll be good.”

This was getting a little too fucked up, Mike decided. He wasn’t sure he wanted to lean into it or not, if Jay would later thank him for going all in or for pulling back before they went to some psychological netherworld that Mike wasn’t sure he could navigate his way back out of. 

“You’re not going to come until I’m inside you,” Mike said, moving toward him again. “Got it?”

“Uh-huh, yeah.” Jay looked relieved, like he could breathe again, and he moaned and nodded when Mike reached up to untie his hands. “Yes, yeah, thank you, please--”

“Shut up,” Mike said, gently this time. He moaned under his breath and examined Jay’s wrists once they were freed. He’d definitely have bruises, mostly because of his own tugging and squirming. Mike kissed the red marks there, and sucked softly at the tender skin when Jay made an approving sound, gazing up at Mike with what looked like adoration. 

Jay has gone bye-bye, Mike thought, a _Ghostbusters_ quote sneaking inappropriately into his mind. Or maybe _bye-bye_ wasn’t accurate, but Jay had definitely gone someplace and was looking up at Mike from within it, trusting Mike not to cave in the walls of wherever he was.

“I got lube,” Mike said, feeling clumsy but wanting the real world to at least peek back in before they went further. “You want a condom?”

“Fuck no,” Jay said, still dreamy-eyed and kinda weirdly cheerful about refusing one. 

Mike smirked and leaned in to kiss him. Jay’s tongue was sluggish but he was still eager to keep up as best he could, lapping at Mike with all the energy he could muster, and when he lifted his shaky hands to Mike’s shoulders it felt like another kind of kiss, because he was touching Mike tentatively, like he was afraid he’d lose his hands-free privileges if he went too far. 

“Close your eyes,” Mike said, winding the tie around his fist. 

Jay obeyed instantly and looked glad for the command. Mike brought tie up to cover Jay’s eyes, then nudged his head forward so he could knot it in back, blindfolding him. He regretted this move right away, because he missed seeing Jay’s swimmy eyes, but Jay was gripping the bedcover with both hands and breathing hard through his open mouth, so it seemed like a hit. He made a soft, surprised noise when Mike gave him a peck on the lips. 

“Here,” Mike said, dragging Jay down so that his sore back would be flush with the mattress. “Lift your legs up,” Mike said, moving away from him. “And hold them against your chest. That’s right, good. Like that. Mhm-hmm. Just like that. Good, Jay. I’ll be right back.”

Jay exhaled in a long, choppy breath, maybe fearing Mike would leave the room again, leave him alone like this. Mike was only heading for the bathroom, whistling on the way there. He was hard again, ready to be inside Jay more than he was ready to take his next breath, and he knew Jay must be hurting to come, to be filled up, to take anything Mike was willing to give him.

It was so weird, Mike thought, staring at himself in the cloudy bathroom mirror as he shrugged off his work shirt. He took his undershirt off, too, and frowned at himself. Could it be true that Jay was always just sitting around waiting for Mike to stuff him with dick again? What the hell? No, it had to be part of the game. Whatever, Mike would figure it out later. He grabbed the lube, then decided to make Jay wait a little longer, wanting Mike like that, just in case it was the last time. He splashed water on his face and tried to get ahead of everything he wanted, not wanting to flub his landing. He felt close to doing something right for goddamn once-- With Jay, with anything. He couldn’t get too cocky as he approached the grand finale.

Mike walked back into the room as quietly as he could and wasn’t sure that Jay had noticed that he was back or that he was capable of noticing much of anything in the state he was in. He was holding himself open the way Mike had told him to, tense and sweating, his lips parted around his shaky breath while he lay there waiting for Mike to come back. It tugged at Mike’s heart in a way that wasn’t fitting for the moment he was trying to create-- Or prolong, he supposed, since he’d done a pretty fucking good job of getting Jay this far, this close to gone. 

“Good,” Mike said when he was standing at the end of the bed. “You’re doing so good.”

Jay licked his lips and swallowed a whine. He left his head tilted back, didn’t crane his neck to try and blindly follow the sound of Mike’s voice. 

“Say something,” Mike said, a little unnerved by how fully Jay seemed to be in his thrall. Even though that had been the plan. There was something spooky about it.

“Wha--,” Jay managed, his fingers flexing on his shins, knuckles going white. “What?” 

“Say my fucking name, I guess.” 

“_Mike_,” Jay said, groaning this out like it was a relief, halfway to Mike giving him permission to come. “Mike, ah. Mike--” 

“I’m going to fuck you now,” Mike said, kneeling onto the bed. “Can you take my dick all at once? Like before?”

“Yes, yuh, yeah--”

“Pretty sure I saw you limping the day after, that first time we did it.” 

Jay sniffed and licked over his lips. He shook his head. Mike got the impression he was holding something in. 

“Say it,” Mike said, slicking up his cock and feeling the bed tremble under his knees. “What, Jay, tell me.”

“I was a fuh, fucking virgin, but. You knew.” 

Mike didn’t, actually. He clamped his mouth shut and decided this was not the time to discuss that. It seemed far more important and pressing to rub the slicked-up head of his dick against Jay’s already tongue-teased hole. Mike chewed his lip to keep his own groan in when Jay cried out and pressed down against him.

“Sah, sorry,” Jay said, shaking his head at himself. He went still and breathed hard through his nose, his sweaty hands slipping a little on his legs as he held himself open for Mike. “I, I’ll be good, I’m sorry.”

“Shut up, Jay,” Mike said, nakedly sweet as he leaned over Jay and kissed him at the center of his jittering chest. “Or, don’t. I want you to, to-- Say shit, say whatever you want. Tell me when it feels good.”

“Nhnnn,” Jay said, arching his back. “Mike. Feels so, yeah-- That-- _hahh_\--”

Mike was teasing him again, rubbing his dick along the split of Jay’s ass and over his hole, up against the seat of his overfull balls. He wasn’t sure what the fuck he was waiting for. Jay was subvocal and totally melted, completely in Mike’s hands. He didn’t need to be tied up again, would stay like this all night if Mike just said the word, aching to come and waiting to be told that he could. Mike had come recently enough that he wasn’t worried he’d go off too soon. He was perfectly ready to pound Jay into the next fucking century, felt like he could go all night long and like he could probably make Jay come three times just from being fucked. 

Still, he was waiting, watching Jay’s face and postponing the moment when he’d push inside him. He was as bad as Jay: he didn’t know what the fuck he wanted. He needed to be told, most of the time.

He almost said out loud: I barfed on the plane. I threw up in a fucking airsickness bag thinking I’d lost you, that I’d driven you off for good, and oh by the way I think I gave you those cake pheromones because I wanted your stupid ass to wake up and realize mine is the only dick you need.

He spared Jay from hearing any of this nonsense and did him the mercy of sliding inside him instead, going slow and watching his face. Jay’s brow creased a little but his erection didn’t flag. Mike knew Jay would go off as soon as he was touched there, and wanted to wait until he was all in to grant Jay that relief. He remembered what it had felt like to be inside Jay when he came, too well. It had almost entirely sobered Mike up, that first time and every time after, because it had been that good to feel the slow, clinging pulse of Jay around him when he let himself go over his edge while Mike was still buried inside him.

“C’mere,” Mike muttered when he was buried to the hilt, and he slipped the tie away from Jay’s eyes. Jay blinked up at him, looked confused and then just blissed out, his face sticky-hot, eyes runny. 

“Fuck,” Jay breathed out, sounding more like he’d just had a gag removed than a blindfold. He reached up to wrap his shaky arms around Mike’s neck, sniffled and adjusted a little beneath him. “Mmpf,” he said, pinching his eyes shut and adjusting again. “Yeah.”

“Yeah? Good?”

“Mike, fuck. You’re so, it’s--” Jay exhaled and nodded slowly, staring up at Mike. He touched the back of Mike’s hair, stroking him. “You’re so worried about me,” he said, sounding embarrassed for Mike.

“I am not,” Mike said, shunting forward to demonstrate.

Jay groaned and threw his head back, his legs pulling up a little higher against Mike’s sides. He was spread open so wide, around Mike’s dick but also in general, because there was a lot of Mike to fit between his legs, too. 

“It’s not the worst thing about you,” Jay said, his eyes still closed. He was smiling, sort of, just at the corner of lips. He cursed and laughed when Mike bit his jaw, then moaned in warning when Mike bit him harder, mean enough to leave a mark.

“What’s the worst thing about me,” Mike asked, mumbling this against Jay’s skin. 

“You believe in ghosts.”

Mike guffawed, taken off guard, and pulled back to give Jay an impressed look. Jay smirked up at him and shifted his hips, moaned. 

“Fuck me, you asshole,” Jay said. 

“Oh, there you are.”

“Yeah, I was here the whole time.”

“Bullshit. You were on fucking Jupiter for a while. I’m gonna fuck you till you come, understand? Don’t you dare touch your cock.”

“Yes,” Jay said, licking his lips. “Please, yeah. I’ll be good.”

Mike pulled back, sliding out of him almost all the way and keeping his eyes locked on Jay’s, feeling idiotic now for ever having covered them up-- Though Jay had seemed into it, and now was more like himself without the blindfold. The trouble was, the Jay who was most like himself was the one Mike wanted to fuck. Jay wanted to bury his true self under a million stupid fucking things. He had always been like that. Mike slammed into him and growled with satisfaction when Jay shouted and arched into it, trying to get him impossibly deeper, brainless again as soon as Mike started pounding him.

At least they both loved this part just the same, and there was no screwing it up, because Mike couldn’t fuck into Jay hard enough and Jay took it like he only always wanted more, jamming his thumbs into his sore nipples until Mike leaned in to bite at them. He paused in his thrusting to feel Jay cry out for this, too, then soothed his tongue over both of Jay’s bright red nipples before he resumed fucking into him, sure that the people in the neighboring motel rooms and anyone who happened to be passing by would hear Jay getting fucked so right that his moaning was nonstop now, shameless and loud and mostly Mike’s name.

“Tell me how much you need it,” Mike said, grinding this out near Jay’s ear, meaning: to come.

“So, so bad,” Jay said, crying this out with his eyes pinched shut, head thrashing back and forth, hands coming up to half-cover his face. “Mike, muh-- Need it, yeah, every, every fucking day I want-- Like, like that first time, make me, make me limp for you, _nnnh_\--”

So Jay was-- What? Talking about getting fucked? Daily? By Mike? 

Mike grabbed Jay’s cock, jerked him in three fast pumps, and that was all it took. Jay made a high-pitched, helpless sound and came in Mike’s hand, squeezing up tight around his dick in those slow, perfect pulses, just like Mike remembered every time he jerked off to the memory, which was near daily. 

Mike’s own climax took him off guard, hitting him just on the end of Jay’s. He curled up around Jay and buried his face against Jay’s hot, slick throat while he unloaded inside him, the temperature in the room seeming to crawl across his back as he came down from his high. It felt like the air conditioning had died at some point, or just couldn’t keep up with the heat they’d generated. 

Jay’s hands were on Mike’s sweaty back, soothing over him like he was the one who’d just-- Whatever. They were both pretty gone, still locked together. Mike felt melted, like he wouldn’t be able to pull all of himself out of Jay, and he supposed this was true. When he finally mustered the energy to disconnect, his come leaked out between them and pooled on the ugly floral bedcover. 

“Fuck,” Mike said, flopping over onto his side. It was too hot to cuddle, so he let Jay lie there on his back, eyes closed and mouth open while he tried to catch his breath. Mike reached over and dragged his hand through the come on Jay’s stomach, knowing he’d find it gross.

Obediently, or maybe just predictably, Jay made a disgusted noise and looked down to watch Mike spreading the mess around on his skin. He looked over at Mike with that same grossed-out expression, then rolled toward him and ducked his gaze entirely. 

“Does your back still hurt?” Mike asked, touching Jay’s fattened lips with the knuckles on his clean hand. 

Jay shrugged. “Are you still gonna rub it for me,” he asked, sounding half-asleep already.

“Yes. I also have cookies. Do you want a towel or something?”

“Cookies? What are you talking about?”

“Literal cookies. Why is that, like. Difficult for you to understand?”

“I don’t know, because why the fuck are you thinking about cookies right now?” 

“Man, fucking forget it. I’m taking a shower.”

This was how it had always been after they fucked, though usually they were drunker. Mike hoisted himself out of bed, half feeling like he’d dodged a bullet. The other half of him just felt like shit. 

Jay was watching TV when Mike got out of the shower. It was some old movie Mike didn’t recognize, black and white. Jay had curled himself around a pillow and pulled the blankets on the bed up to his waist. He looked deceptively sweet when he shifted against the pillow and met Mike’s eyes. 

“So where are these cookies?” Jay asked, muttering this like a grudging apology.

Mike took his towel off and threw it at him. Jay laughed and batted it away like it was another disgusting Mike artifact. 

“I rescind my offer to share the cookies with you,” Mike said, feeling stupid for having thrown the towel. Now he was naked and Jay was staring at him.

“I’ll let you feed them to me,” Jay said, rolling onto his stomach in a way that made Mike feel pretty certain they were going to fuck again before they left this motel room. “I know you’re into that,” Jay said, and he smirked at the look on Mike’s face. 

“You think you have room to make fun of me for the weird shit I’m into?” Mike climbed into the bed beside Jay, mostly for the excuse to hide his gut under the blankets. “Really?”

“Suddenly we’re not allowed to make fun of each other?”

Jay shifted toward Mike a little, still lying on his belly. He probably sincerely wanted a back rub. There was no way his shoulders weren’t aching. Mike sincerely wanted to feed him those cookies, meanwhile, and was pouting about it.

“You’re so moody,” Jay said when Mike just stared at him, paralyzed by the choices laid before him.

“Fuck you, Jay. I’m moody? You ran away to marry an old man because I said so.”

“That’s not being moody, that’s being-- Committed.”

“Yeah, in the sense that you should be committed to an asylum.”

Jay laughed, his face half-buried in a pillow. He looked really fucking cute and like he knew it.

“I could get better at this,” Mike said, feeling pathetic and deciding to go with that. 

“At what?”

“Uhhh. Fucking you.”

“Oh, god. You’ve been good at that since the start.” 

Jay hid more of his face after saying so, blushing. The movie went to commercial and the TV started blaring an ad for a local carpet cleaning service.

“Doubtful,” Mike said, feeling like his chest would cave in. “I didn’t even know you were a virgin, um. That first time. And I didn’t treat you like one. As you might have noticed. Sorry.”

“I--” Jay frowned and did an angry little shrug, still hugged around the pillow that he was half-hiding in while they had this conversation. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to, and. Who in the hell did you think had fucked me before then?”

“Honestly? I wasn’t thinking. I was drunk and I wanted you. Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Get me those cookies,” Jay said, in direct defiance of this command. “Right now.” 

“I knew you’d want them,” Mike said, and he reached over to give Jay a hard smack on the ass before he flung himself out of bed, barely evading Jay’s attempt to kick him.

“We’ll get crumbs in the bed,” Jay said when Mike returned with the cookies.

“Oh my god.” Mike belly-flopped back into the bed, not giving a fuck about his gut suddenly. “It’s a nasty motel room, Jay. Who gives a shit!”

This set Jay off laughing, which got Mike going, and for some reason it took them both a long time to regain their composure, especially when Mike tried to feed Jay a cookie. Jay would try to keep a straight face and slowly fail, eyes pinching up and shoulders bouncing while he tried to hold it in. Mike told him to stop, to shut up, meanwhile laughing so hard that Jay would get going again. Crumbs got everywhere. 

They spooned up together to watch the movie, Mike wrapped around Jay’s back and Jay wrapped around a pillow. Jay fell into a thin sleep after a while, and Mike rubbed his back until he woke up moaning and pressing into Mike’s touch, saying _yeah_ and _that’s so good_, eyes still closed.

Around midnight they had sex again, Jay riding Mike like he had that first time. They were both kind of punch drunk, as opposed to actually drunk, and they kissed a lot, tired and lazy, making it last. At one point Mike was afraid he was going to cry or something, and, as if he had sensed this imminent danger, Jay leaned forward and bit Mike’s bottom lip hard enough to piss him off and inspire him to put Jay down onto his back, lean over him and fuck him hard, also like he had that first time, whoops. 

“Just what the hell is wrong with us,” Mike asked when it was pitch dark in the room, so late at night that it was maybe technically morning, close to dawn. Jay was curled up against Mike’s chest and was pulling on his chest hair in random intervals, for some reason wanting to keep him awake, maybe because they were talking like they used to, when they were younger.

“Here’s the thing,” Jay said after considering the question. He tugged hard at a patch of hair just under Mike’s left nipple, making him wince. “I’ve always known something is wrong with me. Well, lots of things. But you’re the first and only person I’d, like, include with that. You know, like you said. What’s wrong with _us_. Together. What’s wrong is that we like it. Which actually makes it right. I think.”

“I think so, too.” Mike hugged Jay a little closer. “Stop pulling my chest hair and go to sleep, though.”

“But--”

“No, it’ll be fine. I won’t backtrack in the morning. I swear. Unless you want me to.”

Jay scoffed, which wasn’t a real answer about what he wanted or anything else, except that he also hugged his arm around Mike’s back, sighed against his chest, and pretty much fell asleep on command.

In the morning, Mike felt strangely hungover. He’d had two beers at the casino and one with dinner, and three was nothing to him, but he had the distinct sense of foggy dread that was usually hangover-related. Jay seemed similarly groggy and fragile. He took a shower while Mike watched a news report about a blizzard back home. 

“Ready to embark on our life of crime?” Mike asked when Jay emerged in a towel. He was mostly joking.

“That’s pretty much already our life,” Jay said. 

“Oh, right.”

They grinned at each other: slowly, like they were both afraid the other would bite. Mike could forgive both himself and Jay for this fear. They had definitely bitten each other in past. Literally and figuratively.

An hour later they were back on the road in their rental car, Jay behind the wheel this time. Mike had cracked the passenger side window so he could feel the mountain air, also because the highway noise that bled in made it impossible to really talk. When they’d been quiet for too long he put his hand on Jay’s thigh, and grinned at himself in the passenger side mirror when Jay reached over to do the same to him. Like they were making a pact or something.

“I knew you’d come get me,” Jay said when Mike rolled up his window. Jay sounded like he’d been waiting, holding this in until Mike worked up the nerve to listen. “I knew it’d be like _Lord of the Rings_, that you’d swim out to my canoe and throw yourself in it and be all, like. Don’t go where I can’t follow!”

“Oh my god,” Mike said, snickering, charmed. 

“Yeah, yeah. Well, you did it.”

Mike laughed again, couldn’t deny it. They were blasting through Colorado, three hours from Denver, headed home to a raging blizzard. Jay had said it himself, like a fucking wedding vow: _I’m going back where I belong!_ Mike tightened his grip on Jay’s thigh and thought about that first time they fucked, when he’d drunkenly launched himself at Jay for a kiss. Mike had low expectations, had been braced to get an angry hand in his face, was ready to laugh and play it off as a joke when Jay shoved him away. The whole world shifted around him when Jay not only kissed him back but also grabbed for his dick and climbed into his lap. 

“What if I hadn’t shown up during the wedding ceremony, though?” Mike asked, thinking about this. “Did you have a contingency plan?”

“For you abandoning me? Fuck no, man. So. Don’t.”

Mike leaned over to give Jay a sloppy kiss on the neck, wanting it to feel like a promise that, no matter what fucked up shit they did to each other, abandonment would never enter into it. Jay cursed Mike and told him to knock it off, lifting his shoulder and laughing. 

“Like I could even live without you,” Mike said.

Jay grinned but otherwise pretended not to hear this. Mike didn’t care. It was like a wedding vow: you said it in the right place-- in this case, a rental car moving through Colorado, on the way back to their life of low-level crime in Milwaukee --and it became unbreakable, officially witnessed and therefore real.

**


End file.
